Sandy!

I don't like to use names.  It keeps this blog anonymous and that way I can talk about things with out without making people think I am talking about them or knowing exactly who I am, if you don't know already, but sometimes I want to give a shout out to someone a friend that I love and respect and that means using their name.  And especially since my friend is an author and I hope her great success, but here is the but, we have lost contact, or rather something happened and I don't know what.  I might have done something or maybe she did not want to keep contact.  But you see I fear that it might have been me, because part of my condition, Asperger's  Syndrome, I am super conscious about bothering people.  I want to talk to someone and I want to call them, but since I do not want to disturb them I don't, or I fill myself with vexation trying to figure when is the best time to call them.  I had another friend whom I did not know when to to call them so I called them at the absolute wrong time.

So I stopped calling my friend, Sandy, except on her birthday.  Which may have been the wrong time to call her.  It may have been the wrong time to call her because it was not enough or maybe it was a friendship that was going nowhere, or I was going nowhere or I said something once and I don't know what and I offended her.  You see this is how I think.  

I have not physically seen Sandy in about ten years, but I think about her about once a day.  This is not something special, I think about MagicEyes more than once a day, I think about WaifGirl(I have to think of a better name for her) more than once a day, I think about MPTR more than once a day, I think about Benita and Hyun, Tim and Greg, and about a dozen other people more than once a day, so thinking about Sandy is not something she needs to be concerned about; it is a mental artifact about my version of AS.

I just reviewed my friendship with her, including the first time I met her and when we started being friends, and the party that I last spent time with her.  I miss you Sandy, but I have gotten used to missing you.  

A couple of years ago she relented and added me as a friend on FB, so I can see what she is doing in her life, but I feel that that is as much contact that she wants from me.  I think she got tired of my letter that I would send to her, not taking the hint.  Last Summer I saw a post from her at a location near to where MagicEyes lived.  I knew she cottages near her, but I did not realize that it was but 10 kilometers away; I did not go and check it out, I did not try to accidentally run into her, I did not do any of the demented things I tried in high school. But I am writing this blog entry and I will likely send it to her.

Sandy, Sandra, the light in my eyes dances when I say you name.  I hope you are happy. You can tell me to delete this post if you want.  Happy 27th birthday on Saturday.