Lonely feminist atheist

Sometimes I think if I were not a passive feminist, I could just reach out and grab what I wanted.  I am an asshole and a jerk sometimes, it might be the very nature of being male, but I just reached out and embraced that asshole and jerk side of my personality and stopped thinking about what the women in my life wanted first, I might be happier.  

Instead I feel like shit all the time, because I am always pining for women who treat me like a friend when I could be that friend AND so much more.  And all it would take is for me to reach out and grasp what they want but are unsure about.  Or perhaps don't know what they want, but when they got it would want more.  58% of college men would force women to have sex.  How many college men would force a kiss on a woman?  Probably a much higher number, like 7 in 8.  I wish that I were one of those men, because it hurts so much sometimes and just this year someone told me that they wanted to kiss me on a first date, and if we had, how would things have been different?  And once this year I read someone's mind and knew that I could kiss her if I wanted to for hours and hours and maybe that would have been something other than what I have now, which is nothing.

But the problem is, I AM a feminist and I believe that if something is taken and not freely given, it is wrong.  So I will remain a lonely moral person.

Take that Christian Moralists!  Score one more for the Atheists!