Stuff in Big Smoke

Sometimes the problem with going away and hanging out with my friends in the Big Smoke is that I get exposed to them and the happiness that I see around them and their children.  And I get melancholy.  Sometimes it is that sometimes it is other things.  There was a bit of activity on one of the dating sites, someone looked at my profile.  Mostly I know that just because someone looks at a profile does not mean that they are interested just that they looked.  In my area that also means that they were looking, rather than not looking which is most of the profiles.  

I don't mean to get my hopes up unnecessarily, but surrounded by so much love, I just hope for something.  

The more I stay here the more I get to know my friend's wife.  She wants to be friends with me and she is fun, but the more I get to know here the more jealous I get, envious of their relationship.  She has my friend's sense of humour.  When I came there this time they both sat me down for a 'talk'.  They told me that their daughter's bed, the guest bed, no longer had the plastic sheet on it and so I was not allowed to wet the bed anymore, nor masturbate.  As if I would wet the bed.  As if I could masturbate in a three year old's bed.  As I said twisted sense of humour.

I have been tired of being single for so very long, so long that I jumped out of a good situation a few years ago in to this bad situation, just for the chance at something, anything, relationshipwise.  I am very likely to leap at the next opportunity for the same reason.  This depresses me.  Of course the situation I am in now is also horrible it was better far away from this happiness I feel around them.  

I was just talking to the Wife, she was trying to convince me to move closer to them so that I would have better dating opportunities and be closer to them.  

Tough choices