Emotionally compromised

There is this thing that people do when they get drunk.  They call their EX at three in the morning.  

There is this thing I do when I get depressed.  I text or email my depression to the person I have crush on.  Before cellphones it was worse, I would write long depressing emails where I would promise to kill myself, but it was only ever written to the person who I loved and never told.  

I can't kill myself though, there is a three year old who loves me and whom I cannot disappoint ever.  

I deleted my crush's phone number and deleted the conversation.  I CAN'T let it evolve further.  Unless she wants it so, but she doesn't, so I will let her know, the next time I see her —No that never works they way I envision it.  I just have to stop.