Today I blog from work, not about work, about relationships; only one on my mind.
I have never been good with them. For me they show up and then go away just as quickly. Sex and then more sex then silence and then go away. I have been trying relationships off and on over the years. The first modern one we got into sex before we were communicating properly and that failed within a month or so.
The next one we were friends with sexual tension for over a year, maybe some heavy petting, then when we had sex, it was fantastic and we could talk and have a conversation before and after, but she was more passive than rain and I could not deal with her anymore. She is in a loveless sexless relationship and I hope she rots, because it is what she deserves.
But now, I am rushing into another relationship, or so everyone around me tells me; I am beginning to believe it to. I have been on one date, I have been chatting and emailing her for over three weeks now and we are extremely compatible. I can not stop thinking about kissing her on her lips and holding her close, yet I have done neither, nor expect to do either any time soon, but I can't help it. I am excited and I like her. And things have been so difficult lately.
But I don't want to date her because things have been difficult. I don't want to date her because I want to fuck her. I want to date her because I want to share my life, share hers and make her and my life better. Sex is important but it is not the greatest thing in the world. I just wish things would move a little faster. Faster and slower. I wish to see her and talk; I want to write her into my brain. I would like to become really good friends before anything happens. But then I know how I get swept off my feet around pretty women.
So I wait.
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