I have been thinking this one through for many months now, perhaps years. A person with Asperger's Syndrome has to get his or her behaviours from somewhere. What I mean is we do not know how to react to situations that we have not experienced, except by trial and all errors, until we hit upon something that works. Myself I have three things that I use. I use The Program. The Program, is a massive computer code of reactions to actions, if this occurs do this. That sort of thing. It IS massive, there are individual programs for people I know well and general programs for people who I know on different levels but different categories example Waif Girl, came by yesterday, I have not seen her in about five months. I see her as a kindred spirit who is in many of the same situations that I am in, stuck in Boonieland and desiring the big city desperately, smart, intellectual, if-only-I-were-several-years-younger type of person. I wanted to lift her up in a bear hug and twirl her around once before talking to her about her impending escape to a place that is better than the big city, but she has only clues. But I did not do that, she is not a friend she is a first rate acquaintance, we only have a few things that we do in common and most of that is in the past. She is proper and dressed nicely and my instincts that are often wrong tell me she would not react well to that approach, so I stand off away from her, about 1 and a half meters and chat briefly saying inane things I have said before.
That is an example of The Program in working order. When I was younger and The Program was not functioning well I relied on a different set of parameters to run my life and work through social jungle of High School, looking back I realize that it was the wrong thing to do; I relied on Television to tell me what is appropriate in situations. Wrong Wrong Wrong, WRONG!!! If a guy is trying to date your sister you do something. If a guy is dating a woman it is because of her big tits. If this happens it is for this reason and this motivation. The trouble is that TV is not a good guide, they are making mistakes that should not be followed because they work because of the conflict that they cause in social situations. To this day I cannot watch TV shows that mimic too closely to reality like Seinfeld, Friends, Fresh Prince, Leave It to Beaver.
The third influence on my behaviour is women. I have effectively been raised by women. All of my close friends have always been female. I have picked up their mannerisms and many of my behaviours are female. Men often mistake me for being gay. I am male, I am intensely interested in women, I am not gay, but gay people do not bother me. Truthfully I find many men attractive and there are a few I would sleep with, but I am intensely heterosexual otherwise. I know the secret to women . . . if there was a woman that was open to me, I would get laid every night. What is this secret? It is right out in the open. Pay attention to them. If she is happy and amorous you will be happy too. Come home grumpy and don't help out with the chores and don't give her a foot rub because she has sore feet, she will never be in the mood. It is not about manipulating, it is about mutual happiness.
Anyways, I follow The Program, even though it is flawed. I do not press my luck and push my own desires. I probably never get laid again following The Program, but when you do not have a clue about how to act in social situations, one has to follow something. Some rule.
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