Interlude in Big Smoke

Here I sit in an underground cafeteria in Big Smoke looking at all the cute girls, of whom I will never speak to and thus find uninteresting, writing to a "girl" in Russia that I am convinced is actually a computer algorithm designed to scam me some how.  

Writing to someone who has no idea of where you are and what it is like allows you to see things in a new perspective, experiencing it anew again.  Even if the person you are taking to is a computer.

I was supposed to bring my book, it was all queued up and ready to be read, and my writing iPad, it was half charged and still good for a few hours.  

The girls are pretty.  I have discovered that all girls are pretty if you look at them right.  All my friends are pretty, every smile is pretty and so every woman is potentially pretty, because they could all be my friend or they could all smile.  Honey, I did not ask you to smile and not would I ask a woman to, but when everyone smiles they become more attractive.  

I have discovered recently that I am doing relationships wrong, better late then never right?  No.  I liked the people in my life and wish that I had known for them.  Also I have to change who I am looking for and who I find attractive.  It is a good thing that all women are attractive.  I am not twenty-five anymore, so stop thinking that you are twenty-five.  That was the problem, I always knew how old I was, but it did not change how I interacted with the world.  I have to change.   Maybe moving to the burbs of the Big Smoke will allow that to happen.

The problem with Smallville was that I did not fit.  I am not a Hippie because my generation does not have hippies.  But I am strongly attracted to Hippies: strong willed, open minded, alternative lifestyle, liberal minded women.  Every one of the people I have been attracted to, GardenGuru, MPTR, MagicEyes, PolyGirl, SuperGirl and a bunch of girls that I could never approach were that.  But there seems to be a thirty year gap, fifteen year younger or older than me of those type of women—they must exist so they must be married.  They are not in Smallville in any case.  Maybe in Big Smoke I will find one or more of them and they will be looking for me.  

I was thinking the point of a relationship was sex.  Not really, but it is an apt simplification; it works for now.  I wanted the deep conversations and intimacy of a relationship and I could have done without the sex, but my approach was all wrong.  Dating sites may not be the best place to do that, but where else do I have?  Time to give it another spin?

There is a future blog about the Internet women from Russia scam so I will just leave it here.

Time to find a book and a different location to read it.  And look at more women who I won't talk to and who thus do not interest me at all.