We had sex a lot. I have a few sexual issues that make life for my sexual partner better than they would be for a normal couple. I am demiromantic, which means I can't orgasm unless I am completely comfortable. So no pressure and completely in love. Early in a relationship that means long duration sex. Hours, on one erection. Which is great for the woman. Most guys can't last forever; I can't last forever either, but I last longer than most men who have not taken drugs. Which is a great situation for a woman that has had too little sex in the past couple of years. But she did not count on falling in love with me, it was a betrayal to her husband, whom she loved most after her children.
It was when we had begun sleeping together, you know actually sleeping. She could not sleep a wink with me until she realized that she had been slowly falling in love with me and was refusing to accept it. When she finally accepted it, she slept soundly in my arms. And that is how it has been ever since. She would sneak out— boldly stride out saying that she was going out to socialize with her friends, and seek me— make love, cuddle, eat dinner, occasionally see a movie, but almost always end naked in my arms curled up.
She wanted to talk to me because her husband wanted to have sex with her, again. I am theoretically Polyamorous. Both of them are Polyamorous. I feel I am theoretically Poly because I feel if I could breech the friendship level with most woman, I would feel comfortable having sex with many women, but the demisexual friend layer is exceptionally thick. So thick that my last girlfriend and I were friends for well over a year and worked together and a friend suggested to me that we might work together well. Do you get that? Lots of pushing and lots of time. When it happened, I was hooked solidly. And we made love once a week— because we lived 250kms apart, but it was glorious. Then she stopped answering my texts and I found out that while she was making love to me she was fucking her other boyfriend, whom she told me did not turn her on and who repulsed her. And that her life had been sexless. Fucking him four or five times a week.
I tried to handle the conversation maturely. She was married to him. And her continuing to see me was dependant on him being happy. And she loved her children and there is no way she would ever end her marriage for me. I love her and I wanted to see her. And we had been talking of our future together. So I told her that I would do anything for her and keeping her husband happy was part of the deal, so I agreed that she and her husband should have sex if he wanted to.
Sex is this thing that most people don't understand. Really. It is not about orgasms. It is not about being naked together; it is about binding your lives together emotionally. The orgasm is almost the ultimate form of pleasure for women, maybe men too. But it binds the man and the woman together it forges a bond. It creates the feelings of love. Natural20 and I bonded over sex, me wanting her more than anything more than anything else; making her feel wanted. I was afraid that her husband wanting her would mean that it would becoming to an end. I mean if I slept beside her every night, I would have sex with her if not every morning and evening, than one out of two. It really knocked me back. I was afraid that she and her husband having sex together was the end of us. I did not mean on the spot but the end of us in the longterm.
My entire week I was down and upset. I was considering preparing for the worst and looking back at OkCupid again. Except I was too busy for dates and really, it has taken over a year to commit to Natural20 as much as I had and I was not living in the ideal location to date more women. LittleSmoke is even worse than Smallville, because you are just twenty kilometers too far for most people to date you. And. And. And, I did not want to. Becuase I love her. I don't want anyone else.
So as she was supposed to come and see me, I was finding the I was withdrawing. And I was ambivalent about seeing her. I loved her but I dis not want to be hurt by her when she told me that she did not need to see me anymore. And then it would have become a self for filling prophesy; if I ignored her and she had sex with her husband more than me, it would happen. And what could he do that I could not do? He can cum. He can orgasm without fail. I can't. I know that is something that she wants. As WiseWomanOnTheMountain said, an orgasm from a boyfriend is proof that you enjoy your time with your mate, no orgasm suggests otherwise. Which is funny, because she is the one that put it into my head that orgasms are bad, whine using the Rythumn Method. She told me that she used the Rythumn Method only during her love affair with her husband and had four children. So, I have not had an orgasm with her in over a year. I have not showed her that I really enjoy sex with her, she just has to take my word for it. And my actions.
So I was bummed out. I did not want to see her, but I did really want to see her; I had been looking forward to her visit all week. I saw her walking to visit me. I realized how much I wanted her and how much I loved her. Despite everything. We were going to make dinner and eat and chat and maybe make love. But the kitchen was full and so we went directly to my room. And I decided to show her exactly how much I love her. I decided that Everytime she told me that she was hungry I would make love to her until she was no longer hungry. Any smart man knows that a woman who is hungry, is a woman that you should feed; to fail can be dangerous, but I realized that I can do something her husband can't, I can can show her exactly how much I want her. I can show her more often and longer. I know what I need to do, I need to orgasm, but I also just have to show her strongly and persistently. I drove away her hunger three times over three hours. I just need to let her know how much she means to me and I can't retreat. She is not MPTR, she is Natural20.
I just can't for get that, she is my Turkey Princess.
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