Smallville update

Back in Smallville and I hate it.  I like Smallville and the surrounding region, it is not the place.  I like some of the people.  I don't like the some and like most places I don't know the rest.  What I really don't like is the feelings that I left behind me that have been coming back.  Things like the situation in my old workplace and how if I cam back I would be in the same place that I was before with the same wage.  But then a useless fuck who left at the same time as I did was being offered way more to come back and do the same job as I can do, but less.  That is not the only thing, there are the personal stuff.  I left this place and I stopped thinking about the twenty something girls— the only girls in Smallville who are single.  I stopped thinking about them and I am happier for it, but I come back here and it is back in my head again, like I never left.  The loneliness that I had is back and the need to fill it with anything is back.  I don't like it.  A year without thinking about SuperGirl and suddenly I think about her all the time and the angst that it brings.  It is like the angst that I had in high school all over again.  I evolved away from it gradually in BigSmoke, and then I am back in it again when I come back, move away and it goes away slowly, come back and it is back.  I wonder how many months it will take to disappear this time?  I need to go, to leave, to only visit, nev to live here again.