Demi Moore? Nah, Demisexual

People sometimes go through life thinking that their situation is unique and that no one else has the same problems.  Sometimes these problems that they have are sufficiently different from the norm that they appear unique and no one talks about them so the person that has this problem, feels alone and no one else can understand.  Sometimes people how feel alone like this become depressed because they feel like no one can understand them and they have a real problem.  Something that is broken in them.

Sometimes there is a name for what they have and that is wonderful!  It is wonderful because now they know that they are not alone and that they are now more normal.  What that mean is that they can now use a word to describe themselves and not a series of awkward situations.  They can also haves word to research what is wrong with them, or their condition. 

For me, knowing that I have Autism, meant that I then also had a way to deal with it and a way to focus on my problems and figure them out and hopefully change my situation.  

So, I was cruising over Facebook the other day and a friend had posted a article about the different forms of sexual expression that there are in the world today.  And I clicked on it.  I click on about half of her posts, well closer to 75%, but I clicked on this one.  I was there.  I previously had explored my sexuality in detail trying to figure out why I can't have sex like other people and came to the conclusion that I had a weird Fetish.  Fetish meaning something that has to be present in order work correctly.  A lot of fetishes are things that people throw around saying that they like to do it that way, it gives them more pleasure, but a true fetish holds them down completely.  That is what a fetish is, it is something that ties people down.  The very word evokes a feeling of deviants in most people.  

So I read the article and there I was, described in a single word with a short suscint definition.  Demisexual, someone who needs an emotional connection to have sex.  When I read the definition, there were aspects that I did not agree with completely, they did not fit with me at all, but on the whole it was a close fit and later the article stated that "although most Demisexuals are Asexual, there is a sizable portion that are not".  A fit.  The article I just googled went on to say that when friends start talking about which celebrity they find sexy how Demisexuals often feel uncomfortable because they have no sense of sexual attraction with any celebrity, because they have no emotional bond with them.

What the article solidified in my head was that it is okay for me to be me, that I am just another slice of normality and not one more deviant.  For more information look up demisexuality.org  

It means when a coworker points out a hot woman walking down the street and I feel nothing, I am normal still.  It means that when I look at all the women around me and recognise that some people would find them sexually attractive but I don't have that desire, it is normal.  When I see a hot woman walking beside someone that I have known for years, it is okay that I find my friend, more attractive than the hot one.  It is okay for me not to want to have sex as soon as it is availible.  It is okay be me.