Teach me?

The side benefit of a really early layoff is that it gives me a chance to throw myself back into Education.  While I write resumes and cover letters for jobs there are other jobs and cover letters I could be writing, the ones that give me a more permanent job an teaching job.  Permanent, what a laugh!  There is not permanent job these days, even in teaching.  

but my girlfriend has confidence in my abilities.  I do not, except I do; it is my confidence in expressing my abilities and pushing myself.  I have experience landscaping, but not in leading a team.  I have knowledge of teaching but little experience infront of a class.  I do have some though in both cases.  I learned to excel in both, but in my own way.  My classes tend to be noisier than the others, but that is because I encourage class discussion and less individual work.  In landscaping I am most comfortable in planting than anything else and in both cases in one on one instruction, but I can do small groups too.

Last year I had a boss that said to me, okay you are in charge while I get more plants.  And her was gone for five hours.  I had to tell the workers how to plant things, yes roots down green up, but it is more than that.  There was a plan and I was uncomfortable with that plan as everything had to be in lines and everything was pressed too close together, but I managed.  I taught them to use sight lines to make everything straight and I showed them how to place things and to check their work.  I corrected their work, but more I participated beside them and I gave them the impression that I thought they were competent to leave without supervision.  I showed taught them about the face of a plant how most perrenials and shrubs had a back side or many backsides and they had to be turned so that they faced the correct way.  And I taught them that you could plant something too deep or not deep enough and that some plants go in rows and other do not.  When I taught them how to plant something and how to check, how to make sure the plant was facing the correct way, they developed pride in their work.  I asked them their opinion as to how a plant should go, making them think.  I did not tell them the answer, but let them tell me.  

Most of those people I never worked with before that day and some of the others took the lessons I taught them to other job sites.  

I want to be a paid teacher, but I am already a teacher already.  I want to teach in a formal setting and wear a tie with a dress shirt.  I want to teach science and words and math, but I don't want to teach music and gym class but I will, I will do a lot of it in math class, language class and math class, science too—just to avoid the gymnasium and the music room.  

The confidence that my girlfriend sees is there, it is hidden by experience and doubt, but it is there aching to explode out.