There was lots of down time and I used the down time to read a book. It was a very tough book. It was called The Ramamyana. It was the national epic of India, well one of the national epics. It was on par with the Iliad and the Odyssey, the Aeneid and stuff like that. I was not forced to read it; I wanted to read it. I was on a Asperger's Indian obsession. I liked the food, I liked the women, I wanted to like a lot more of the women and so I was reading this, because you never know. After reading the Ramayana, I wanted more. I picked up the Upshandis and thought I would read that; I still have that book somewhere and I have not read past the first chapter. I decided to go in a different pathway.
I was living in Big Smoke and there was a lot of yoga studios around and I was not sure which one would be for me. I did an Internet search for one and came up with a number of choices. I looked through at least three of them and then went to the first one that was on my list. I was looking for one that had beginner classes. I was looking for one that I could learn not just yoga, but other aspects of the culture and the practice. Back then I did not know that it was called a practice. I went to one and this was very big for me, because I was quite shy and being forward was very alien to me. There were things that I did not know that made me feel like it was an alien experience. Like taking off your shoes at beside the door before coming in to the studio. I grasped this right away and complied. And slowly approached the front desk. There a smiling face greeted me and seemed to want to answer all my questions. I would later know her as Yumi (sp), although I would never use her name. I find it hard to use names, any name, unless it is vary familiar to me or if we have been properly introduced and I know how you say it an I know how to spell it. Really.
This was Jivamukti Yoga. I later learned that it was a very specialized form of Yoga, that there were only two places in the entire world that taught it outside of India, if it was even taught in India. Jivamukti was taught initially in a beginner class four lessons, one each week, but up to three classes a week in that one lesson, that is they repeated it three times a week. They started each class with a harmonium, which is like an accordion but in a box that sounds out a single note. The first class they began to teach me. They taught me how to say OM.
OM they told me was the sound of the universe. It was many things at once. It was, as they said a cosmic eraser; saying it erased what I said and replaced it with what I meant to say. as Yumi said, there are four sounds in a well chanted OM: "aaaaah" the sound you make when you wake up on a glorious morning, "ooooo" the sound you make when you approach the breakfast table and see all the foods that you like spread over the top in quantity and quality, "mmmmmm" the sound you make when you are sated and satisfied after you eat those foods. You take a deep breath and one sound flows into the next sound until all your breath is expelled. The fourth sound is Silence.
There were three regular instructors, I only really remember one's name but there was the principal partner who I took classes with only rarely and there was the tall brunet, who I did not enjoy as much as she kept eluding to a test when we moved about. Yumi was a tiny Japanese woman who was incredibly flexible and also small. To be absolutely clear, I would have had a crush on her if I had not made a really short sighted vow not to use Yoga as a vehicle to find a partner. A relationship. On the other hand this was a good thing as I would not have been able to be there at all, all the women were very pretty and there was a lot more of them than men.
During the short meditation, one instructor would walk behind everyone and rub a lotion on the neck of the students, it had a nice smell but occasionally it burned after we got started. One instructor would lead the class and one instructor would walk around and correct the poses. This is the one thing that I have noticed that other places did not do. Many of the poses have a correct way to do them, to prevent injury or to get the maximum effect from them. They emphasized body memory, if you learn in the correct position then you do it every time.
They used the sanskrit word for everything, the poses and the chants. The chanting is that part that I miss most. No one chants in Boonieland, perhaps because people are unwilling to learn, or because there is a fear that the words are selling your soul to the devil. Really some believe that. When I learned these words, it changed every thing, it changed yoga for me: Lokah Samastah Sukinoh Bahvantu, may everyone, everywhere, be happy and free and may my thoughts, words and actions contribute in some way to the happiness and freedom for all. Followed up with an OM, to smooth out any pronunciation errors that may have been made so that I would have said them the way I meant them to mean.
I went three times a week. Two evenings a week and Saturday mornings. I walked there and I walked home afterwards. I walked in the Summer, I walked in the Winter, Spring and Autumn too. I lived about nine kilometers away, so you can understand walking was a commitment. I could at that time walk it in a little more than an hour. If I was running late I might take the subway, but as a matter of principle, I walked.
They believed in inversions, once a class. I am not very good at inversions, one I weigh a lot, not just fat though. I have a large frame, I am muscular and fat. But the inversions freaked me out a little because a few of them use your head and neck as one of the supports; that one uses your arms too, but the core weight is carried by the head and neck. The other I can do a shoulder stand, leading to plough. The shoulder stand, the weight is in the shoulders and upper back so it is not so bad as my shoulders are quite broad, so I did not fear this position as much. Plough was difficult.
Fear is a part of yoga, learned from them. Inversions are about turning your life over, upside down. They told me that people fear only one thing, expressed in a multiple different ways. Fear of planes, fear of snakes, fear of spiders, fear of public speaking are all fear of death. Even public speaking is a fear of death, we are afraid the crowd will hate what we are saying and tear us limb from limb. Once you know that you are fearing death, that calms you. Of all the ways that people die, public speaking, sharks, spiders, snakes, planes etcetera, can all be rolled up in to one and it would not equal the number of people who die in car accidents and yet we all get into cars as part of our regular life. So fear of those things is silly. Being afraid of something is normal, letting it stop you from doing things is just silly especially the same everyday things that a lot of people do.
In plough you start with a shoulder stand, then bring your legs and body backwards over your shoulders until your toes hit the ground. When they hit you relax and let your knees touch near your head. But until your toes touch the ground, you don't know that's here they are or how close you have come, because you can't see your toes. My instructors told me that I was almost there, which did not help, but kept me trying. They then put a block under my toes on the ground to show how close I was. When they did this I relaxed and my toes touched. Accomplishment! It took me months to get that far.
I am not going to do Head Stand though until I lose a lot more weight and my arms can support me— that is risking my life! And then I laugh at myself.
Here is the thing that you learn when you do yoga. Our bodies are different. That is silly I hear you say, of course our bodies are different, but what I mean is that each person has a different range of motion, every body has a different ratio of bones and different ratio of muscles and each of those play with each person to give them different ranges of motion. It means for some people one pose is easy and other people a different pose. The anatomical difference between men and women affect the poses. Having a sensitive organ between my legs is a concern when transitioning between some poses that most yoga practitioners have no clue about. Almost all people who do yoga are women in the West. Many of the positions are dependent on placing your feet hip width apart and that affects everything.
They had special events, musicians that came and the founder of the New Yuck Practice would come occasionally. Extra money to attend, so I did not attend many, but there was shunting and there was eating. Everyone brought a vegan meal, which was one of the reasons why I never wanted to attend, I did not want to put my minimal cooking skills to test. They must have thought I was not a vegetarian, I never told them that I, at that point had been vegetarian for over ten years, but I let then think what ever they thought.
When I left for Teacher's College, they gave me a package. A chant book, and a CD with a sample practice and a wish to return. I missed them until I could come back to Big Smoke. In Teacher's College, I joined a class but everything was too basic and I did not feel right attending the class. When I moved to Smallville and decided to stay I sought out a place to continue my practice. I found one place and another I went to them both, because you don't know which one is the one for you. One was filled with couples, not for me. The other the people liked to talk, that was not for me at first, but everything was so relaxed that I enjoyed it. Some of the classes were filled with laughter. That was delightful.
In that time my yoga studio in Big Smoke went bankrupt. Yoga had gotten big in the city and people were opening up lots of yoga studios. Birkam Yoga, was the most popular, called hot yoga. The temperature of the studio was pushed up to 30°C and people went through the moves and they sweated. People equate a good workout with sweat, so they jacked up the heat to make people sweat. Yoga done properly in a cool studio, will make you sweat. Every time. I was suspicious of this yoga.
Here is the thing about Proper yoga. There are no weights, there are no gimmicks. There is just a mat, to soften the floor and give your feet grip and I guess to mark out your place on the floor, a place where your sweat can splatter. The positions are attained with mindfulness, you are paying attention to how your body is moving and where. Where is your foot, where is your back, is it straight? Body awareness has another important characteristic, engagement. Each muscle is engaged, if one muscle is keeping you in position the counter muscles need be engaged to pull the first muscle until the first muscle is fully engaged. Example Mountain pose, standing straight. Place your feet, big toes touching and heels together and spread your toes as wide as you can and dig them into the mat. Engage the front and back of your legs to make them hard as the mountain. Raise your chest up high, but shoulders low down your back, your core engaged to push your chest up. Your gluts are engaged bringing your back down to the legs. Your forehead is the summit proud and strong high into the air. Your arms are engaged thrust down your sides. Try standing like that for a minute, it is tough, every muscle engaged, body solid, as solid as you can manage. That is standing, the other positions are more complex, but each body part is in a place and fully engaged. Fully engaged for an hour, you sweat buckets. The stronger you are the harder you work. If a position is easy, you can alter it slightly to make it more difficult so that every person is engaged and pushed to their individual maximum. Everyone sweats in a proper yoga class.
There is also relaxation too though. There is one pose that is about relaxation, several poses, happy baby pose, lie on your back and grab your big toes and roll around on your back, in Jivamukti you would express your inner child with a gurgle. Corpse pose where you lie on your back and let all your bones and muscles spread and relax. Meditation is a part of yoga, the focus is breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Nothing else matters.
Breathing is the one thing I could never get used to each movement is associated with a breath, inhale move, exhale move, inhale move, exhale move. Often I was exhaling when I should have been inhaling. This may have not been a problem but many of the moves are enhanced with a specific breath, so I guess it does matter.
When you have been doing yoga for a while you start to become aware of your body. For instance, I am aware of my feet. My feet are muscular, like everywhere, unlike everywhere else not much fat. My feet are big and I am hard on my feet. No shoe has ever truly fit them, and certainly no boot, so my feet are covered with calluses. Calluses protect your feet from harm, but they are slippery and not very good for establishing grip and I slip a lot. I have flat feet, so that aids the gripping process. Makes me want to have a pedicure, but then I still have to put the work-boots back on and the callouses are necessary.
Body awareness is something that is important for your practice. But it is important to realize that your body is different from every other body and everyone has their quirks and so you need to know what they are, also don't let anyone tell you what your quirks are if you know that they are something else. An instructor told me that I could not go further until I learned to relax once because my muscles were hard, unflexed. She said that they should be pliable. Her muscles were pliable relaxed, most people have pliable muscles, mine are more pliable, but never loose like she said they should be. So don't let anyone tell you what your body should be like until they have lived in it.
Part of the problem of being taught and corrected constantly while learning, is that when I see other beginners being taught without that direction. I see that they are in the incorrect place, that they are bent incorrectly, that they are not straight enough, that they think they are doing everything correctly, but they are not and will continue do these things, because they are becoming habits. Bad habits are due to poor body awareness. The only way that They will get that instruction is if the instructor stops leading the class by example and adjusts people's poor positioning. Just a little peeve.
Anyways perhaps Yoga is something that I need in my life forever right beside cycling. We will see.
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