Fight!

So I have been thinking for a while about children and their behaviours.  I am around children a lot now and I have not been around this age group in a while, or in this combination ever, 4 and 1.  Mightyboy and Princess; they are fun to be around for different reasons.  Mightyboy is four and he is very active and physical, fearless in many ways.  He is also a little violent too, but because he is very small, it is ineffectual.  The truth about people as they get older and mature, is that as they learn to join society they become less violent.  This is against common perception.  Common perception is that teenagers are more violent; this is not true.  Teenagers are stronger and can do more damage so when they become violent it is noticed.  Little children become violent many times a day, but they are weaker and do less damage, so no one notices anything.

The violence comes from not being able to express themselves fully and from the powerlessness of their situation.  As they get older, they can express themselves better and people around them take notice; they also learn that violence is never acceptable.  

Asperger's Syndrome's most overlooked feature is retarded EQ.  Emotional Quotient is a measurement of a person's grasp of social queues and behavioral norms.  This is just a working theory, so work with me here.  Children start out with almost no understanding of society and they have to work to understand it, just as they start out not knowing anything about anything.  A mentally slow individual takes extra time to learn about anything, so if the analogy holds, an emotionally challenged individual will also take more time to figure things out.

One of the hallmark associations of boys with AS is their violence.  Let me take myself as an example, only because I know my EQ score, not for any other reason, because before grade Eight I did not get in any fights.  I have an EQ score of 40, this means that when I was 10, I had the emotional maturity of a 4 year old.  I was not a fighter, but I had a friend who got into fights at least once a week; he has AS too.  

I am starting to have second thoughts on this theory, but I will continue.  The trouble with AS is that with a lagging emotional maturity there is a body that is growing physically mature.  If only the body grow with emotional maturity and not independently of it.  Luckily for me, my violent period at school was only about two years.  At home it was much longer, but most of my frustrations were home centered.  Also lucky for me, I did not get very big until after grade ten.  Fighting with my younger sister was different.

She is close in age to me and she does not have AS.  She also gained dominance early, helped in part to the rule, "Don't hurt your younger sister!"  At first I did not fight back, and when I did she had control.  I am thinking that there were not fights in the sense of two people coming to blows, it was more two people disagreeing and one person fighting and the other backing down.  Yes, she bullied me.  It was only when I was getting bullied by the small kid at the new school when I entered Grade 8 as the new kid, when I was encouraged by the teachers to fight back, that I started fighting back.  It took me months to fight back, but when I did fight back, the positive feedback was immediate.  When I moved again in the same year, there was a scuffle in line with the biggest kid and there were no problems.  In high school, the bullying began again and continued for a few months until we got in a fight and then it stopped.

At home, however, my sister still ruled.  Until I got really mad and discovered that I was bigger and stronger that she was.  There were two fights, the first when she tried to tell me to do something I did not want to do was over quick, I don't remember much only that I was still play with the computer game and she was under the desk with my foot pressed upon her neck, keeping her there and from struggling; mostly because I knew that her temper was still bigger than mine and that she scared me still, and I knew that when I let her up, she was going to grab something and hurt me.  The last time we got into a fight she was ready, but I still overpowered her and drove her to the ground with my hands around her throat straggling her.  She was still fighting, clawing and punching my face, but when she lost consciousness, I left her there and went to my room. She did not try to fight me again.  I also really did not try to fight anyone again either.  But then I don't know anyone that would really want to start a fight with a six foot 120+ kg man, mostly muscle even if I can't actually fight.

So you might say that when I was twenty I was basically non violent big person with the emotional maturity of a eight year old, which actually explains why I was so successful with women.  It is when I think about back then, that I realize that my theory is flawed.  I was more mature than eight, at times I was more mature than twenty.  I am thinking that behaviour has more factors than just age, EQ, size, outlook, setting, parents, society, brain development, IQ and whatever else.  I can tell you, that at close to forty years old I still have to work some things out that most teenagers are still working out.  

40 x .4 = 16.  Maybe I can't have a relationship before 50 that works.  Maybe I can't have a relationship until I meet someone who cares to work with me on this.  Maybe EQ, is something that you have to figure out on your own and some people never figure it out.  Maybe it is like morals, maturity that is, some can improve upon it, but most just stick to what the world expects of them. 

High school was really bad for me because I never understood what was happening, but I had all the same hormones, desires and expectations.  I never understood why I could not be normal, like them, the rest of them.  I resent them still.  Is that why I hate Boonieville?