Some times I just want to say sorry. But I know that it is too late. I can't because it won't change anything. I knew that I did it as soon as I said it and it was out. Things changed because of it. But I deserve to be shut out. It is that feeling that you get when the person that you like has blocked you on FaceBook, or the friend that you value above all others has stopped returning your calls and is mysteriously never home when you call. Perhaps you don't know what that feels like? Maybe it only happens to me.
I still want to die. I could not express it when I was seven, but if I knew how to then, I would have. It has never really changed for long. I want to tell her that. The one that made me feel that I had a reason to live but it was not really there.
It is 3 o'clock in the morning. Never kill yourself at three, wait until noon.
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