Depression sucks. It really sucks a lot. I bet you knew that. Have you always been depressed a lot? I have. I first became depressed at age seven. My parents noticed and sent me to a psychologist and really that did not help, because what seven year old even knows why they are happy let alone why they are depressed.
That little useless spiel was me trying to say, I know. What It Feels like. I wish that I could tell you what the magic cure all is, but I can't, and if I found it for me it would be different for you. Because depression is about You and not about Me. When you find something that does cure your unhappiness, the work begins, because you have to figure out why it makes you feel happy. And why may be the key to understanding your depression.
For example, we can take me. I can remember a few periods of time when I have been happy. I am not depressed when I am in a relationship. Actually that is not true, I am happy when I am in love and in a relationship. That has happened only twice for me, but I am a mutant; are you a mutant? Why was I happy? I was happy because I had someone to give everything I had and they would accept it, in my mind. The end of the relationship nearly drove me to suicide, so we know that the answer is NOT love and a relationship, but it might be giving everything I have.
The second time that I remember happiness was when I was volunteering at a school. I did that for five years, I had to work evenings and nights to do it, but I thought I had to do it so I lived with it. Truthfully, I had the work schedule first, but …. —I did do the volunteering and about half way through my third year I saw that I was not depressed anymore, it snuck up on me. Why was I not depressed? I think it was because I was giving everything I had. I might need more data. Probably not.
Why am I still depressed? Because, it does not go away, ever. I have to learn to manage my depression because it is something that I will have my entire life. That and I made a few mistakes that I am trying to recover from and get back to giving it all.
What can you do? You can look at yourself and think why you have been happy. What was in common with those experiences in yourself. If there was another person there, don't tell yourself it was because of them, because it wasn't. Your happiness was given to you by you, no one can make you feel happy. If you discover the universal depression cure, on the other hand, I want one percent as I am not greedy.
You can call me if you want, if you need to, or leave a message.
Tip: go for a walk or go to the gym if that is what you like. But do your physical activity alone, because if you do it with someone, there is a chance that you will associate the good with that person and when they are not there it will feel all the worse.
Give me a call if you want.
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