A Single Life Too Far

Single life is ultimately very sucky. First of all you have no one telling you to do things, needing you to do things, wanting for you to do things.  You have no one to do things for.  There is no one to help you be a full person.  There is no one to help you realize your full potential and to exceed it.  

Then there is sex.  A single person in my experience, me, has a very high libido.  My friends never believe me when I say that I can keep it up for a very long time.  After being single for a few years at a time, I can outlast any woman.  I know that if I were not single almost any woman would outlast me, well probably not, I am special though.  The last time I was put to the full test, and the time before that . . . Well that would be bragging, but I outlasted Braveheart.  I would not do that again because I injured them, the women.  Trust me, I would rather not.  I would rather be normal and just have sex once a month or less and not be single.

It is my health.  Single people die before non single people.  They generally die unhappy too.  They can die because they have a mole that develops on their back and there is no one to see it.  They can die because they get sick and there is no one telling them to go to the hospital.  They can die at forty years of age because they feel lonely and useless and because drugs and alcohol do not mix that way safely.

I have been in a mutually loving caring relationship exactly zero times for zero years and zero seconds; their has always been someone who was holding back.  I will never know my full potential, which is a damn shame, because right now, the husk I am, is better than half the people I see.  If I came into my full potential I might be able to light a flame in a thousand minds and hearts and send a ripple through humanity.  I will die sooner having nothing to live for more than The Hobbit movie.  I will die of skin cancer that could have been detected if someone saw my back every morning as I dressed.  I will not make a special woman happy with a grin on her face when her friends talk about their monthly aborted sexual romp, her daily grin, twice daily.