Last time I started and failed to enter in a blog post, got frustrated and did not try again. I started this blog as an outlet for when things get me down with my Asperger's, so here I am again. The thing is about AS and sufferers is that we get depressed. We don't often show it because our emotions are not easily displayed on our faces for public view.

Why do we get depressed? Many of the same reasons why other people get depressed with one more. I myself was depressed from age seven to Age thirty-one and never knew why. I did not know why, I did not know about AS either. I always felt incomplete and different from everyone else, I felt substandard. I remember in High School looking at all the girls and wishing that I could talk to them, one of them and never being able to. My other friend, who also has AS but is extroverted could always talk to girls, but was so childish that they did not take him seriously.

I get depressed because I could never interact with people my own age, I felt that the gulf was too great that I was too different. It is something that plagues me today, when I see a pretty woman I think that they do not want someone like me to interact with them or anyone to interact with them and so I don't. I leave them in peace. I like to know that a woman wants to interact with me before I try.

I have a roommate, he has a girlfriend, they are giggling and having sex just now. They are not loud I am not intruding but I can tell. And why shouldn't they, they are young and love each other. I am not one to stand in another's way for happiness, but it does make me depressed, because I know that it is not my fate to be happy as they are, in the way they are. It just has not and will not happen. They are now showering together, which means that I was correct, for those that doubted.

I am a confirmed unwilling bachelor.